I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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