he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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