2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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