Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
