Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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