Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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