So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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