There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
