All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
