i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
