You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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