super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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