I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
