I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
