I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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