Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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