Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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