if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize