i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
