He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
