Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
