He is an equal opportunity slut.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
