My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize