Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
