He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize