Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
