Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
