You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
