First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Houston, we have a blender
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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