So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
