i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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