it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
