does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize