actually, I'm a sock model
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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