My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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