Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize