what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
