Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
