You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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