Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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