I CAN MOONWALK!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
