Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
