Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize