Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize