I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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