He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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