Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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