But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Let's paint friendship bongs
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
