I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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