My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I understand Curling. That high.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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