I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
