the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
