dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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