I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
