I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Alive.
So much puke
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
