I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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