i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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