I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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