Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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