NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize