You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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